I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fith, and won a toaster. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in a constant fear. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort. You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice. Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet. Someone stole my mood ring, I don't know how I feel about that. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo. You're not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm okay. Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word. I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist. Working in a mirror factory is something I wan totally see myself doing. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it. What would The Jetsons be called if they were black? The Jetsons, you fucking racist. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle ? Attire. I entered 10 puns in a pun contest hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did. We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea. It's in our jeans.